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I don’t want to write this but can’t refrain myself from writing this….it’s the only thing I can think of right now and would write about as is my wont….Better someone wouldn’t read it coz it’s the most platitudinous stuff written hereafter….
yesterday I was awake by 09:15, just after they stop serving breakfast (guess I’d figured out who “they” were)….here I am, missing my Saturday morning coffee and someone else (I guess “someone” would figure out who I am referring to) would have been consuming more caffeine in one sitting than I could in a month…..
hungry and thirsty, and without even leaving my bed I’d switch on my laptop to check whether I’ve been shortlisted for SIBM P GD/PI or not and would wake up finding out that they are going to post the list later in the evening after 1700….
now that I didn’t had anything else to do, I’d wait for the clock to strike 12:30 so that I can satiate myself with the usual rancid food….but that is not to happen coz suddenly it’d dawn on me, in the same way Gautama Buddha was enlightened except that for me it was a matter of milliseconds and for him it took a span of some “I don’t know how many” years, that I have a test today called PeP test….it’s like the naukri.com’s cast down version for fresh, just out of college graduates(though we still have 6 months left before we’d graduate)….It was scheduled at 11:00 and my enlightenment took place at 10:44….the test wasn’t of much consequence to me as I already had a job but watching everyone else giving it and with a NSS repo to maintain i.e., help a colleague of mine score some marks so that he gets a call for a job which would make me the most important person per se for that job treat once he gets selected….that is what a win-win situation is for the students and plagiarism for the test conductors….
but the test won’t start till 12:30 and I can see myself 2 hours down the line with an empty stomach and the lunch missed by just a matter of minutes….this was an important lesson coz it helped me prepare for a question always asked in an interview: where do you see yourself 5 or 10 years down the line….now I understand what they intend to know by asking this question….
on the 15 min walk from the lecture theater where the test was conducted to my hostel, we (me and my 3+1 friends, initially we were 4 and the +1 joined later) had a Rs.25 pizza and a Coke at the hostel canteen…. after that I’d go on to complete the season 1 of f.r.i.e.n.d.s till the clock would strike 16:45 and I’d open the SIBM site to check the results and would find out that yes! They have posted the list of selected students….as a matter of fact, I already knew that I won’t clear the sectional cut-off in GA but was still hoping that by some miracle I would find my way in….as soon as I clicked on the link: GD/PI Shortlist, a page opened with a table showing the sectional cut-offs and the overall cut-off….it was mind blasting….I couldn’t even have dreamt that the overall cut-off would be so high….and was equally shocked to find out that the cut-off for GA actually went a mark up compared to previous year’s cut-off even when the GA this year was 3 grades tougher than previous year’s….now depressed that I wasn’t even able to clear the overall cut-off which I was thinking that I’d steer clear of, I went on watching f.r.i.e.n.d.s to cheer up but only to find myself nauseated and dizzy watching the same characters do different stuff in different episodes….but now it wasn’t funny anymore….especially with my empty stomach shouting out loud, I wasn’t able to figure out why I was starving…it would only dawn on me later that I didn’t had breakfast and lunch and the dinner the night before wasn’t well either…..so feeling this way I went next door to my friend’s to talk anything that would kill those 30mins which was keeping me away from the Saturday Night Special Dinner only to find out that he was even more depressed coz a nerd named Anurag (he was the first one to land with a job in our class in a PSU named IOCL, but he was rejected after 4 months on Medical grounds…after this incident he is averse to everything and would behave as if everyone is alive just to make a move against him and he is the vanguard of everyone else who he isn’t averse to……I have exaggerated the last two lines beyond anyone’s imagination) talked stuff the way a Conspiracy Theorist would regarding the moves made by our B.C. to get himself placed twice with a dream job in the so called EIL which is every Civil Engineer’s dream (only for the PSU types Civil Engineers) and leave the rest left out in the cold…..so they were planning to meet the Placement Head and talk about all these “Conspiracies”….
while we talked about the placement scenario, the clock’s minute hand touched 6 and we went on to have our special dinner (the dinner isn’t special, it’s just that the food served the rest of the week is so disgusting that this dinner looks heaven in front of them)…..after dinner, I ran into a guy named Aniket Gaekwad who tried to persuade me to lend him some money and also promised some perks but I was pretty confident that I won’t make the same mistake umpteenth time and as enlightenment would do, I agreed to lend him some hard cash for a Rs.69 Cafe Frappe with a condition that he’d treat me first and then we’ll talk money…..but the rascal was no where to be cajoled into something like this and would offer me a 4 Thumbs Up treat but that too in instalments which I was sure enough wasn’t going to happen…..so I kicked him out and went to a guy called Kapil Hemnani (he is the “someone” referred to in the starting para) to inform him of the high cut-offs and to know the websites from where I can download the f.r.i.e.n.d.s’ season 2 only to meet with some soft and some hard luck….I don’t feel like getting into the terms soft and hard luck coz I am writing the 1075th word and would like to end this Vicyssoise of Verbiage here……..but for anyone who read this non-sense, I promise that it wouldn’t be a banal stuff the next time…..

now that I have bathed completely!!!…yes, “completely” implies that yesterday coz of water scarcity (or to be more definite coz of warm water scarcity),I wasn’t able to help this ritual reach its destiny…it was limited to the upper division of the body that contains brain, the chief sense organs, and the mouth (as defined in merriam-webster)…it’s not as if I care about these organs or rather believe in performing this ritual daily to remit a sin, but to set myself free from an obligation which this ugly world so very much emphasizes on from the moment I was born…. though with the bolt of this new year I absolved for 4 days continuously after which there was a hiatus of days I can’t recant… but yesterday was an important day as I was well prepared to sprinkle my parched job hunt(actually to get that coveted dream job which was a bonus for some unlucky guys who are yet to quench their thirst and was a dream also for those some (un)lucky guys who already had a job)….now digressing a bit from the bathing part I am feeling like shedding some light on this job part…
Mu Sigma business solutions: Do The Math…wow…a pure-play analytics company with their colloquial tag line for “You Figure It Out” which isn’t even 5 years old and is a already a pro in the fledgling analytics industry with 25 of the Fortune 500 companies, including Wal-mart, IBM, Microsoft and many more, yelping for help … Yup…this is what those 4 persons giving the ppt told us… actually it was three coz one geek was constantly fiddling with his laptop and would give us some erudite examples whenever the fatso (the one who did all the talking) asked him to…said he was busy sending some files using our college campus wi-fi to their clients so that they won’t get pissed off…yeah..but may be I was when I was rejected…though the ppt was neat with some “Did You Know?” facts and figures video downloaded from You Tube(they acknowledged that they also did the same) and the DIPP analysis….the only frustrating thing was that they were in so much of a hurry with the plethora of questions hitting them that they forgot or may be deliberately dodged the most important thing, which for the students is how much will be their compensation when the company would suck the last drop of blood from their body and the infinitesimal wisdom left in their mind….
Now getting myself back on track and moving the timeline to the point before Mu Sigma arrived,I thought it wasn’t a bad idea after all if I could get myself rid of that xtraaa thing, don’t know if it breathes or not, which my long hairs are so very adept at harbouring…The In expugnable Dandruff…
and here I am, sitting in front of my laptop hitting on the keyboard, after a long day’s toiling going futile and the short night’s delight beefed up with a couple of f.r.i.e.n.d.s’ episodes, and a feeling of the integral after I soaked the remaining half of my body with tepid water….while completing this sentence there were some murmurings inside my stomach which sinews the abrupt end of this Vichyssoise of Verbiage…..